Contents

Monday, October 16, 2006

You know you're a tango junkie when.....

  • Your iPod has over 30 versions of La Cumparsita

  • When you open your eyes in the morning, you start humming "Zorzal" and dance it in your mind with your favorite milonga partner
  • When you're feeling angst in your life, and you know exactly what's going to make it go away.
  • A coworker walks into your office while "Arrabalera" is playing and asks,"What's with the polka?" and you seriously consider never speaking to them again.
  • Tango has become your philosophy
  • You have an MDiv yet you preach the "gospel of tango" more than "the Gospel" ( true story)
  • You have crossed an ocean just to dance with a favorite partner
  • You practice in front and in the elevator reguardless if you are alone or if one of the head officers of the company are standing next to you
  • You swear you will quit this crazy dance, and are back at the next milonga
  • When you find yourself dressing a stranger in your eyes in 3" heels and a black dress.
  • When you and another contractor are workin on a move to Calo two stories above the ground, tool belts clinking.
  • When you realize the milonga is where you see all your friends.
  • When you laugh out loud at bad tango in movies.
  • When you walk backwards to the refrigerator.
  • Walking into new buildings and noticing potential dance space to Tango.
  • Your friends offer to "do an intervention."
  • Your family actually GIVES you clothes in which to dance (in which they'd be embarrassed to see you on the street.)
  • You've remodeled your house mainly to maximize dance space.
  • Entering a lift, and making a side step with your left foot to give way to somebody going out, then you don't step forward with your right foot. You change weight on the double-time, and you enter the lift with a left-foot step.
  • When you move because your landlord will not let you remove the coconut carpets - and there isn't really room for practicing anyway.
  • When you wake up in the middle of the night and hear tango music - only to realise it's inside your head.
  • If there is not milonga on a Friday night - you arrange one!
  • You wear your heels to work. They are handsewn and so comfortable. Your feet love them. Why wear any other shoes? And you keep an extra pair in your bag.
  • You have started taking Spanish private lessons - from a PorteƱo.
  • You cross country lines to tango!
  • You practice your balance - and sometimes boleos -when waiting to cross the street.
  • You say, "We can meet .... Thursday or maybe Monday -oh, no I am practicing with Thomas.... how about Monday next week?"
  • Your first question when buying clothes is "but can I dance in it?" - used to be "but can I wear it to work?"
  • You are addicted to the tango zone
  • You bring your heels to work so you can practice on your breaks. (this is a true story!)
  • You prefer to listen to the original recording of Por Una Cabeza
  • You fantasize about being Luciana Pedraza.
  • You fantasize about being Robert Duvall's dreamgirl.
  • You copied all your tango music to your office computer and that's all you listen to 9 - 5
  • You've danced with one of the biggies and survived.
  • You own a tango t-shirt and wear it in public - constantly.
  • You go through withdrawal without at least one tango-high per week.
  • You realize you are being swept away.
  • Your descriptions of tango have shifted from "unbounded enthusiasm" to "you wouldn't understand...
  • Your friends are secrectly plotting to kidnap you for a week of serious deprogramming.
  • You know who Carlos Gardel is.
  • You've stopped saying sorry when you screw up - you just tango out of the trouble you got into.
  • You keep a pair of dance shoes in your car.
  • You wish you paid more attention in high school Spanish class.
  • You've sold or moved most of your furniture to give yourself practice space.
  • You make sure you never run out of breath mints.
  • You no longer freak out at the prospect of leading a boleo.
  • You cross state lines to tango.
  • You've had the big tango-fight with your partner.
  • You listen to tango music when you're not at a practica or milonga.
  • You bring your ankles and knees together all the time, even in the elevator.
  • You plan the rest of your social life so it doesn't conflict with tango nights.
  • You own a bootleg copy of Tango Bar.
  • Your wardrobe is predominantly black.
  • Ocho is more than just a number.
  • Your fantasy travel destination is Buenos Aires.
  • You are unable to schedule major surgery without compromising tango commitments.
  • You now view the world in terms of people who tango and those unfortunate souls who don't.
  • You've progressed from the practice hold to full contact tango.
  • You have to work hard to maintain non-tango friendships (if you have any left).
  • You've been dancing a year and still don't get bored talking tango.
  • You have developed the ability to turn any conversation to tango within 2 minutes.
  • You no longer have parties at your house; you host milongas.
  • When you look in the mirror, you are usually looking at your feet.
  • Your shopping cart often substitutes as your dance partner.
  • You've figured out how to find the hidden tango sections in any record store.
  • Tango never fails to energize, no matter how tired you are.
  • Before traveling, you check out the net for tango events in that area.
  • You are willing to spend twice as much time driving to a milonga as you actually dance.
  • You've danced long enough to realize that you want to keep it simple.
  • You automatically do something Tango-ish whenever you navigate through a crowd.
  • Your computer passwords at work are always phrases related to tango.
  • Your ear has been trained to recognize the tango possibilities in all forms of music.
  • You remember the place and partner with whom you danced your first real tango.
  • Subtle moves have begun to reveal themselves (without lessons).
  • You practice the roles of both lead and follow to fully understand the dance.
  • You maintain a phone list of the hardcore tangueros in your area.
  • You have at least one Kristine Hansen tango poster framed and hanging at home and/or work.
  • You bring your own tango CDs to wedding receptions to ensure that your requests will be played.
  • Tango has diminished, if not ruined, the appeal of every other dance you ever did.
  • Little else in your life gets done compared to your pre-tango days.
  • Your passion-index is much higher compared to your pre-tango days. What pre-tango days?
  • You have become nocturnal.
  • You regularly shop the local Salvation Army to suppliment your tango wardrobe.
  • You wear vintage clothes every week that most people wear once a year to the office Christmas party.
  • You have a Boa (not a snake) in your closet.
  • Friends insert the word Tango before your given name when introducing you to others.
  • You have been spotted dancing tango in parking lots.
  • Posters for upcoming tango events are always magnetized to your refrigerator.
  • You have developed a healthy fear of foot injuries.
  • Your interest in shoes can easily be mistaken for a fetish.
  • The amount of time you spend on personal grooming has doubled.
  • You are considering the purchase of clothing not commonly seen in public.
  • You realize how rare it is to find such passion in life.
  • You have discovered the pleasures of barefoot tango.
  • You dance tango in your mind.
  • You have to dance. You have to dance
  • You soak your tired little feet in tango toes foot soak.
  • You seek out stories from those who have danced tango in other countries.
  • One of the most exciting things in the world is to dance tango with a complete stranger
  • You have been known to sing in the ear of your partner while dancing.
  • You recognize that special glow in the night as another hotbed of tango erupts in the distance.
  • Your favorite color is tango black.
  • Friends and family automatically assume that you want tango-related birthday gifts.
  • You have been given a gift of private tango lessons.
  • You have learned the Klassic Kenny move.
  • You have practiced with Rebecca's Follower's Technique video at least three times.
  • Your mind visualizes and calibrates square-footage in terms of open dance space.
  • The thought enters your mind that Johnny Cash was aware of tango black long before you.
  • You have found yourself caught in unusual situations that are best described as a Tango Moment.
  • You become associated with a signature move.
  • You have hosted someone from Buenos Aires at your home.
  • You have been known to forget where you parked your car after several hours of tango.
  • You have finally heard one too many Hugo Diaz tunes.
  • The Tango Police have you under suspicion.
  • You will be dancing tango for the rest of your life.
  • You no longer fear the lost-and-found that may happen during a dance.
  • Your dancing shoes always look well-used.
  • You can't resist dancing a few tango steps whenever you cross a wooden floor.
  • You've gone home after a dance with someone else's glitter on your face.
  • Shoes have new focus in your life.
  • You find that you sandwich feet far more often than shake hands.
  • You have reached a level where your tango reflects your spirit.
  • You have considered crossing that line to become a tango gypsy.
  • You find that dancers drawn to tango are the most interesting passionate people you know.
  • There is no question that you will always work to improve your dance.
  • You draw satisfaction every time you break someone's Hollywood misconception of the dance
  • You realize that dance presence is as important as dance moves.
  • You have trembled in someone's arms.
  • Whenever you wait in line, you must fight the urge to randomly gancho those around you.
  • Tango Hugs...mmmmmmm!
  • You've put your house on the market to support your tango habit.
  • You're thinking of calling your first born son Osvaldo.
  • You constantly have bruises on your legs and feet.
  • You eat your main meal of the day at two in the morning.
  • You saw the film "The Tango Lesson" fourteen times.
  • You dream about dancing with Pablo Veron.
  • Your respect for others is measured by how well they can dance.
  • You feel exhausted but come alive when you hear a tango and hit the dancefloor.
  • You have a tango bumper sticker.
  • You carry baggage to social events even though you aren't planning a trip.
  • You feel sensual and sexy.


No comments: